THE BALANCE OF A MAN

1Timothy 3:2-6 (CJB)

A congregation leader must be above reproach, he must be faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, orderly, hospitable and able to teach. He must not … get into fights; …, he must be kind and gentle. He must not be a lover of money … if a man can't manage his own household, how will he be able to care for God's Messianic Community? He must not be a new believer, because he might become puffed up with pride and thus fall under the same judgment as did the Adversary.

In Genesis 2:18, Hashem intentions towards Adam in creating Eve are either lost in translation, or in the personal bias of the translator. A more literal reading would say, "I will create someone to be 'against' him". It seems that the help man most often needs is in the form of someone who is ‘against’ him; not someone who necessarily fights him, but someone who challenges him and is a balance to him. Because of this, Judaism even advises to not trust the teaching of a Rabbi who is not married. 

A wise man will invite the counsel of his wife; she really is the one who knows him best. If he willingly listens to her, not only his life will be more harmonious, but he will make wiser decisions. But a wise woman needs to learn how to ‘fitly’ advise her husband. If she nags him or makes him feel inferior, he’ll turn off and she won’t be able to fulfill her God-given duty.  She also needs not to do it as an attempt to control him. If because of control issues, passiveness, or a lack of wisdom a wife is not able to advise her husband, she fails in her main reason for being. The same goes for a wife who fans her husband, which a woman usually does that because she wants to bask in his glory. Such a woman will be responsible for her man's downfall. A beautiful example of a married relationship in American History is that of the second president of the United States John Adams, and his wife Abigail Adams. It is even said that one time Georges Washington asked Abigail Adams' help to try to convince her husband of an important piece of diplomatic strategy.

When Roman Emperor Tiberius started commandeering the Senate, one senator protested and compared his governing body to an unheard and ignored wife. If a man, if a leader does not have a wife, he should at least be able to listen to the counsel of those wise people God put around him. It is a wise man who surrounds himself with people who are wiser than him. Paul was not married, but he worked within counsel. Though he took some liberties, he went to Jerusalem to make sure that his race was not in vain. He sought the approval of his own apostolic leaders (Galatians 2:2). 

Sad to say though, many leaders in their pride, fear, and insecurity surround themselves with passive people who adulate them, or with those who find an interest in the relationship, so they will not balance a leader or a teacher. Even if they try, they eventually will give in. The leader knows it and it will be his downfall in the sight of God if not in the sight of men.

May God give us leaders men who have a right spirit before Him; leaders whom the position of office does not corrupt with pride; true humble ministers of Hashem’s flock who only wish to serve.